Monica and I met a lesbian in the New York Pizzeria in our neighborhood last week.* Actually, Monica met her at the bar, and I showed up just in time to make sure the little chat steered clear of any hanky-panky talk.** Somehow, the conversation turned to the ridiculously-fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants, five-week-long Eastern Europe trip on which [...]
Judy Fu’s is a place in our hood.
It’s white man’s Chinese, but it’s good.
Homemade noodles, divine,
But you’ll be nickled and dimed,
So take a pass on the drinks, understood?
Perfect. That’s what I thought after finally navigating through the McMansion outskirts and arriving in downtown Bend, Oregon. Too perfect. So perfect, it’s creepy. As pleasant as the downtown area is in late June, I can’t help having the feeling that I’m Jim Carey in “The Truman Show.” Something’s weird about this place.
The “Bite of [...]
Less than an hour ago, the last gate between the prison and the outside world popped open for me, and I walked through it. I knew I’d be excited, but considering the way I felt, you’d think I’d been confined inside for the past fifteen years; a real life Rip Van Winkle.
I felt like a [...]
For most of my married life, I was opposed to owning a dog for two main reasons.
First, I’m pretty meticulous about cleanliness. I feel like I’ve had my hands full with a wife whose bags and drawers vomit clothing, ungraded essays, stained coffee cups, and unopened packages of eyeliner from Walgreen’s all over the bedroom, [...]
Thai Go is inside Northgate Mall.
Fat people with strollers and all.
Of course, Sbarro, it beats,
But it’s overly sweet,
And bad Pad Thai is its real downfall.
It ain’t what we thought it would be:
Austin, Kenya, Baltimore, Milwaukee, Fayetteville, Seattle – that’s 6 moves in 6 years!
Closing the Baraka School, just when we were hitting our stride. And we missed the wildebeest migration in the Serengeti.
No jobs in Milwaukee, the city we loved.
Down to Fayetteville to teach at a university and, surprise! [...]
School’s out for summer! Woo-hoo!…um, for Monica, at least.
So, for the next week, she’ll be working on her own writing projects, enjoying the 50-degree, overcast, so-called-summer drizzle and, I’m sure, organizing social events for the whole city of Seattle. Over the weekend of June 21st and 22nd, she’ll attend a conference for women who have [...]
Neck hair, how I love thee! Let me count the ways.
Thou growest faster than the hair on my head,
Becoming bushy in just a few days.
I try to hide thee behind my collar, but instead
Thou shinest through, thick and striking.
If thou continuest thine regular pattern of growth,
I know that I’ll never go bald.
I can grow thee [...]
Here’s the first grammar point up for debate! The last line of the last post (’Blasphemous Rumors’ in the Dealing with Pregnancy Loss category) ends in “…cracking, the fuck, up.” In this sentence, what part of speech is the phrase “the fuck”? Though I haven’t done any research, I would guess that it’s an adverb [...]
Heard a song on the radio yesterday that transported me back in time. I also realized that, as a teenager, I had had no life experiences that allowed me to really relate. I have now.
“…I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor, and when [...]
Sex is best performed in the morning time,
Before rising, before coffee or food.
Amorousness leads to that horny crime,
And she makes the best of his morning wood.
In our bedroom, Sundays were best, but now
We have a dog, and other things to do.
Permit me here to espouse upon how
I’m cock-blocked by a 20-pound WestiePoo.
As soon as [...]
The Jones Bistro has rotating plates.
Impressive food, but slightly high rates.
We waited forever
Complaining together,
But the burger was well worth the wait.
OK. Here’s the thing about hanging out in a prison all day, teaching basic skills and computer applications to convicted felons: It’s not that exciting.
I could write about passing through eight locked doors and gates to get to my classroom every day.
I could describe, in detail, the time when I walked out of the [...]
Because Kevlar© is taken.
Because there aren’t many nicknames for Kevins, and none roll off the tongue quite as well as Kev-lar.
Because that nickname was bestowed upon me by my best female friend in college, and every time I mention her name, Monica seems slightly irked. The fact that I can still elicit jealousy makes [...]