Sex is best performed in the morning time,
Before rising, before coffee or food.
Amorousness leads to that horny crime,
And she makes the best of his morning wood.
In our bedroom, Sundays were best, but now
We have a dog, and other things to do.
Permit me here to espouse upon how
I’m cock-blocked by a 20-pound WestiePoo.
As soon as we wake, he whines, pleads, and howls.
Monica, who should be nibbling at me!
Can’t resist, “Let’s bring Tebow in!”…I scowl
When will the next opportunity be?
Or she rises early. Now in the past
She would make it a point to return nude.
Today, when I awake, I get no ass.
She’s on a walk with her new doggy dude.
My advice? Do not spend five hundred bucks
On a cute little dog, or BEWARE, no more fucks!
Thanks to Tom for the perfect verbiage and to Corinne for relaying it to me. And of course, thanks to Monica for laughing.
3 Comments
Humping next to Tebow is fine - call it doggie style! Bow wow wow yippie yo Kay a. Once a girlfriend’s cat started swatting my balls during sex. So maybe cats ARE better than dogs.
From my email to Monica (at Kevin’s request): I think it’s awesome that Kevin can post about how he’s not having sex with you on Sunday mornings any more and you turn around and forward the link to your parents. That is so different from my reality on so many levels! (starting with having sex in the MORNING!)
My owners hump next to me all the time. I love it!
Post a Comment